Animated Crap: Kim Possible Royal Pain

Ah Kim Possible a very underrated Disney channel show that ran from 2002 to 2007. For those that aren't familiar with the show it's about a cheerleader who is also a super spy that fights crime and super villains, pretty basic premise I know but the writers always found a way to make the show work and hell it has a huge online fanbase as well so why I'm I doing an animated crap article on it?

Two words Royal Pain.......an episode so horrendously awful that I'm pretty sure even the creators secretly wish that they never made it. Don't believe me? Well then let's take a look.

The episode begins with a school assembly in which Mr Barkin tells the students about the upcoming class president elections. Ron nominates Kim and Bonnie nominates Brick Flag the school's quarterback......yeah here is my first problem with the episode why didn't Bonnie run herself? It has already been established that she is Kim's rival on the cheer squad so it kind of would have made sense for her to run for class president seeing as she is way smarter than Brick.

God we're only a mintue into the episode and already I'm nickpicking the shit out of it. It can't get any worse right? right?

After a pointless scene in a mini golf course Kim is contacted by Wade and he tells her that a king Wallace needs her help. It is here were we are introduced to *shudder* ugh......Prince Wally.

He's only on the screen for five seconds and I already want to punch him

Okay here is the main problem of the episode Prince Wally, now look I understand what the writers where trying to do with him they made him annoying on purpose but being annoying on purpose is still fucking annoying.Wally is the most unlikable one shot character in the entire show and once again just like Rigby in "Do me a solid" this fucker gets away at the end of the episode with no consequences.

Anyway after we are introduced to Wally the king tells Kim some pointless exposition about the Knights of Rodeghan the stock villains of the episode. He tells her about some crappy prophecy and how the knights are out to kill his son. We also get a pointless flashback that looks like it's from a totally different show.

Insert Game of Thrones joke here

And you kind of start to see the other problem with this episode the medieval theme just doesn't fit with the show's tone because well this is supposed to be a spy parody and plots about knights,kings and princes just don't fit with the style of storytelling that the show is remembered for. I mean it's like watching a James Bond movie where James Bond has to protect a princess from the Black Knight I mean it just doesn't work!

After that we get a pretty boring action scene in which Ron's go kart is confused with the Wally's go kart and the knights try to kill him instead. It's dull but it goes by pretty quick so I'll let it pass, anyway the King decides that Wally is not safe at home so he tells Kim to take him back to America. Yeah this episode just keeps getting worse and worse by the minute doesn't it?  

And it's here where the writers give up on the main plot and decide to make the B plot the main plot of the episode I'm not kidding the rest of the episode is pretty much this. Wally decides to run for class president and becomes popular so much so that Ron decides to abandon Kim as her campaign manager to work as Wally's campaign manager. So yeah Ron's a bit of a douche in this episode, And this goes on for 14 minutes! It's like the writers fucking knew that they had a shit episode on their hands so they thought fuck it let's make half the episode nothing but pointless filler!

Anyway the stupid knights finally show up and we finally get another action scene it's a little better than the previous one because it is a lot longer and better animated. Although I think everyone was just rooting for the Knights to kill that fucker Wally to get it over and done with.

They are just as confused as the 5 people that are still watching

Kim saves Wally he wins class president and ends the monarchy of his country.......whoop d fucking do!

Royal Pain is hands down one of the worst Kim Possible episodes out there, it introduces us to the worst one shot character ever, it focuses on a plot that seems out of place for a spy spoof, it has boring villains and worst of all it gives up on the main plot half way through the fucking episode to focus on the B plot that just goes nowhere. And worst of all? It's just fucking boring! I mean there are other bad Kim Possible episodes like Cap'n Drakken, Grande Size Me and Trading Faces but those episodes at least focused on their shitty plots till the end, Royal Pain gives up on the main plot half way though the episode to focus on a cliched plot about being high school president.

And that's Royal Pain in a nutshell an episode so fucking bad that not even the most hardcore fans of Kim Possible like it. And to this day I have yet to meet a single person who is a fan of this show that actually likes this episode and if there is a person that likes this episode it's probably the writer of the episode Madellaine Paxson.

I looked up Miss Paxson on IMDB and I found out that she also wrote an episode of Johnny Test so yeah that explains A LOT!

So fuck this episode and fuck the network executives who green lit it.

Final Rating

-5/10 


 

   

Animated Crap: Regular Show Do Me A Solid

Alright now that we've got the introduction out of the way let's get this bullshit train going!

Welcome to the first of many review sections of the blog where I take a look at some of the worst animated movies, shows and TV episodes that animation has to offer and I figured I'd start with something simple like a bad episode of an animated series that I like.

So sit back relax and enjoy me tear this shitty episode a new asshole.

For those of you that don't know anything about Regular Show let me sum it up for you real quick. Regular Show is an animated series created by J.G Quintel and it follows the surreal adventures of Mordecai and Rigby an anthropomorphic jaybird and raccoon.

The series is basically like Adventure Time or Aqua Teen Hunger Force in that weird shit just happens and the audience is supposed to just go with it. Now shows like these can be hit or miss and Regular Show has had it's fair share of clunkers over the years and this sadly is one of them.

Alright without anymore stalling let's take a look at why "Do Me A Solid" is one of the worst episodes in the show's run.

So the episode starts off with Mordecai and Rigby watching TV when this comes on.

Hey remember that Shake Weight commercial? Wasn't that so gay? Yeah it was totally gay! 

And already we have the first red flag of the episode, the jokes aren't funny! I mean seriously South Park did a much better Shake Weight parody in an episode that aired a year before this episode did. And I know what you're thinking but this is a kid's show so it's much funnier! Well not really because it really isn't a joke because there really is no set up for it the dudes are just watching TV when an ad comes on for the Shake Weight and we are supposed to find this funny because you know it's the Shake Weight and it totally looks like the dude is jerking another dude off!

Anyway after that pointless scene Mordecai and Rigby decide to do solids for each other, this leads to an unfunny short montage of the two doing pointless crap that is isn't funny nor relevant to the actual plot of the episode.

They run into Skips who tells them not to abuse the power of the solids, the two ignore him and go to the coffee place to get a bite to eat. Eileen nervously asks Rigby if he would like to go mini golfing with her and Margret, Mordecai sees this as a chance to go on a date with Margret so he talks Rigby into agreeing to go with Eileen but only if Mordecai does 10 solids for Rigby.

And here is where the episode starts to go down the shit hole, so the writers decide on making Rigby the antagonist for this episode so for the rest of the episode he acts like a complete jackass and publicly humiliates Mordecai. And all the while Mordecai not once stands up to him when they are going out with the girls. I mean I know this is season 2 Mordecai where he wanted to do whatever it took to get with Margret but still no girl is worth getting humiliated in public for.

But wait it get's worse! When the group returns home Rigby says that he has one more solid for Mordecai to do.

Seven Days

Mordecai finally grows a pair and tells Ribgy to fuck off and that he is not going to do that, but Rigby tells him that he has no choice and that he has to do it because it is a solid. Mordecai ignores him and goes back into the living room to try and hang with Margret again.

And then the ground starts to shake, Rigby tells Mordecai to do the solid but Mordecai refuses and the ground starts to get destroyed.

EARTHQUAKE! 

 Skips, Benson and Pops walk in I guess the writers remembered that they had to crow bar them in there somewhere and Skips gives Mordecai and Rigby the "I told you so" speech. And he tells Mordecai that the only way to stop this is to do the solid, Mordecai is still hesitant until Margret says this.

" Not if you're just doing a solid! That's what friends are for! They come through for each other where they need it most!"

Yep......it's okay to humiliate yourself  in public because you're just doing a solid for a friend. I mean correct me if I'm wrong here but if a friend comes up to you and says "Hey dude do me a solid and act like a complete jackass in front of that girl you like" would you do it? Because I'm sorry if a friend asked me to do something like that and the hid behind the solid excuse then I would break my friendship with them because friends don't humiliate each other like that!

And here's the funny thing it turns out that Margret broke a date with a guy just so she could be with Eileen on her date with Rigby so yeah the writers really loved to treat Mordecai like shit when it comes to his love life don't they?

Anyway Mordecai does the solid which involves him crouching down and making fire truck noises yeah you're guess is as good as mine.

The look on Marget's face says it all.

 The next day Rigby, Pops and Muscle Man are watching a video tape of Mordecai doing the solid and laughing at him, yeah isn't Rigby just the best? Anyway Mordecai walks in and tells them he is fed up and that he just wants to go to the arcade. And here is the final fuck you the writers give to the audience Rigby out of nowhere has a change of heart and destroys the video tape.

Rigby does the fastest heel face turn ever. 

 And to make matters worse? Mordecai being the dumb shit that he is decides to forgive him......WHAT THE FUCK! Rigby spent the entire episode acting like a complete jackass towards Mordecai and now all of a sudden right the fuck out of nowhere Mordecai decides to forgive him.

Ugh......just fuck this episode! This is like the One Coarse Meal of Regular Show where Rigby acts like a complete jackass towards Mordecai and gets away scot free in the end because the writers are complete morons. I mean at least in the Unicorn episode the unicorn gang turns on Rigby and he realizes that he has acted like a complete jackass towards Mordecai but here he's just a jerk from start to finish and he never gets what's coming to him and that's what really pisses me the fuck off about this episode.

Also his sudden change of heart towards the end makes no fucking sense! He spent the whole episode acting like a complete jackass towards Mordecai and then all of a sudden he decides to change his mind in the last 20 seconds of the episode.

Final rating
-1/10    

An Introduction

You now I was never that good with introductions to be quite honest with you.

I kinda have been meaning to start a blog for a while now I tried using Tumblr to write articles and what not but most of the time my shit was lost in the shuffle with all the other crap that floods Tumblr. Not to mention the overall Tumblr layout is a piece of shit to use when it comes to writing long articles trying to review an animated series or ranting about something that I only seem to care about.

So I figured fuck it I might as well use Blogger because really what else is there? I mean yeah I know there's WordPress but WordPress is a bitch to navigate and shit.

But I'm rambling on here so why did I start a Blog I hear the small voice in the back of my head ask well it's because I want to improve on my writing and seeing as I think writing fan fiction is fucking stupid I figured I'd just start a normal blog because all the cool kids are doing it.

Also for those that care I also do a podcast from time to time called Ello Gov'nor it's just me and bunch of friends shooting the shit about some stuff so if you wanna check that shit out go here  http://ellogovnor.libsyn.com/

Anyway that's pretty much it. So if you wanna keep reading that's cool if not then whatever.