Animated Crap: The Simpsons "Days of Future Future"

Okay full disclosure here I never really cared that much for "Holidays of Future Passed" I know that episode has it's fans but I'm not one of them, I found that episode to be too cliched and tried so hard to be heartwarming that it just came off as pretty mediocre in the end.

So that brings us to the subject of today's review the sequel episode "Days of Future Future" (God what a stupid episode title) an episode that took what little heartwarming moments "Holidays of Future Passed" gave us and put them through the fucking meat grinder.

Also if you're been living under a rock for the past 25 years and have no idea who The Simpsons are then I truly feel sorry for you.

Okay enough staling let's take a look at why "Days of Future Future" not only fails as a sequel but as a standalone episode as well.

Our episode begins with Marge warning Homer about his health saying that if he continues to eat as much as he does he will die. Personally considering all the stupid shit Homer has done in the past I'm surprised he isn't dead already.

My problem with this opening is that well it's depressing compared to other Simpsons episodes, usually Simpsons' episodes start out with some sort of wacky situation the family has gotten themselves into or in the case of "Holidays of Future Passed" (You know the episode that this episode CLAIMS to be a sequel to) started out in the future already so having the supposed sequel episode take place during the present is just weird. Also there is nothing funny about a worried Marge telling Homer to lay off the fatty food and trust me this episode has a LOT of unfunny moments that drag it down.

Ah there is nothing funnier than watching an unhappy marriage. 

Anyway Homer agrees with Marge and decides to tell her, on his way upstairs he suffers a heart attack and dies! Yep you read that correctly Homer Simpson one of the most iconic cartoon characters of all time dies in a minute and fifteen seconds of this episode. Now this would be shocking had Fox not spoiled it by announcing on The Simpsons Facebook page that Homer was gonna die in this episode in some cheap ploy to get people watching again.

Goodnight Fat Prince

After that we are treated to Homer's funeral in which we get an unfunny running gag of Moe hitting on Marge. Yeah I was never a fan of Moe having a crush on Marge because it just seemed out of character for Moe to be interested in another man's wife seeing as well earlier episodes showed that he could get women just fine on his own but whatever, it's clear the writers stopped giving a shit a long time ago so I'll stop over analyzing character motivations.

Because nothing is funnier than having a friend hit on your wife at your funeral.

And then the episode starts to get weird, Professor Frink shows up (I guess he knew The Simpson family or something) and tells everyone that he has cloned Homer and this leads to an unfunny montage of Homer clones dying and being replaced, also with this being a future episode and all the characters actually start to age properly.

Same as it ever was I guess.

Cut to 30 years later where it's the future and we find out the Frink can't bring back Homer as a clone because.....well it's not really explained why but if I had to guess I'd say lazy writing, anyway while Frink can't clone Homer he has manged to save his brain on a flash drive (yes really) and uploads him on a TV screen.

It's funny cause he's just a head on a TV.

Cut to The Simpsons house where we find out that Marge is unhappy being married to head on screen Homer (No shit) and that Lisa and Milhouse are having trouble with their marriage. Yeah this show is supposed to be a comedy right? So what's up with all this unfunny crap about failed marriages? It's not funny and it is just depressing to think that this is what the future holds for The Simpsons family.
But trust me it's only gonna get worse from here folks.

Because nothing is funnier than a failed marriage. 

We also find out that Lisa does charity work for the undead (yeah that's right there are zombies in the future apparently) and that Milhouse is well still Milhouse. Anyway Marge finally puts her foot down and throws Homer out of the house and tells him to go live with Bart who surprise surprise is a deadbeat in the future.

It's funny cause Bart is a deadbeat.

And here is where the episode just becomes downright mean spirited in tone, we find out that Bart now lives in the old ruined school, has two kids, an ex wife named Jenda and that Jenda is now dating an alien who is more successful than Bart. Look I know Bart was never the nicest of kids but c'mon he does not deserve to be treated like this! Milhouse and Homer fine they are both butt monkeys that constantly fail in life but Bart? Bart was the cool rebel who stood up to authority and never took shit from anybody and to see him turned into a butt monkey for this episode is just sad.

It's funny cause she's dating an alien monster. 

Anyway Nelson tries to cheer Bart up at work and encourages him to go to club to meet new people. In the B Plot Milhouse get's bitten by a zombie (yeah am I the only one who finds it weird that there are zombies running around in the future?) so yeah sucks to him I guess.

It's funny cause he got bitten by a zombie.

Back in the main plot Bart fails to pick up women at the club and gets depressed (yeah this show is still supposed to be a comedy right?) he goes to an abandoned warehouse where he decides to pull an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and erase all the memories of his divorce to get over his ex-wife.

Gee I wonder what movie they're spoofing here?

Anyone else find it weird how this episode started out with Homer dying and then quickly shifted over to Bart? Yeah newer Simpsons episodes have this bad habit of introducing interesting storylines at the start of the episode then forgetting about them five minutes later, it's like that one episode with the paperboy strike at the beginning where there is a massive paper boy strike at the supermarket and how do the writers solve it? By having The Simpsons go to Africa of course! Yeah I'm convinced that anyone who has any real talent left the show a long time ago and now the show is written by a bunch of hacks!

Also nice to see that this episode being a sequel and all is a lot more mean spirited in tone that the episode that it is a sequel to. Would you be shocked if I told you that this episode is a sequel to a Christmas episode? Because it is and trust me when I say I'd rather sit through another Christmas episode than watch anymore of this shit.

Okay so now that Bart has finally gotten over his ex-wife does he find another woman to have a meaningful relationship with? Fuck no he has a bunch of one night stands which are presented to us in an unfunny montage.

And we get this lovely image.

Childhood officially ruined. 

Plus it's implied that no joke, Bart got wasted and had an orgy with Krusty and whole bunch of other clowns.......yeah are you starting to see why I hate this episode so much?

And if the image of a Bart having an orgy with Krusty isn't enough to kill any love you have for this show how about this, in the B Plot of this episode Milhouse turns into a zombie and Lisa actually starts to like him better as a zombie......yep you read that right Lisa the smart innocent 8 year old voice of reason of The Simpsons is now a necrophiliac........fuck you Simpsons writers fuck you right in the ass with a giant chainsaw!

Anyway Bart tries to get Marge to talk to Homer again but fails, Homer gets a new robot body and get this Jerry the alien that Bart's ex was dating dumped her and now she's back with Bart. Yep all that crap about Bart moving on and that horrible sex montage? Completely pointless!

And we get another wonderful image.

Childhood officially ruined....again!

Bart and Jenda hit it off at dinner and we get a moment of nightmare fuel that is sure to keep me up for weeks.

Try going to sleep after looking at this picture for more than a minute. 

So everything turned out great for everyone in the end right? Surly the episode can't get any more mean spirited right? Right?

Fuck you writers. Just fuck you.

Anyway Bart and Jenda don't get along big shocker I know right? And they end up calling it quits again and Bart heads to Moe's where Lisa and Marge are there drinking their troubles away. Because when I think of The Simpsons I think of trouble marriages and people getting shit faced at a bar to deal with their problems.

And yes I know that I haven't talked much about the B Plot of the episode because really what is there to talk about? Lisa is a horrible person who would rather fuck a zombie than have a normal marriage.

But here comes the kicker and you might want to set down for this one because this quite frankly pissed me off so much more than anything else in the episode, a drunk Marge tells her kids to stop being little bitches and learn to deal with the decisions they made in their lives and not avoid them.

It's funny cause she's old, depressed and drunk. 

And then.....Marge commits suicide and joins Homer in cyberspace........yep you read that correctly Marge Simpson the loving housewife with a heart of gold who stood up for morals and doing the right thing KILLS HERSELF TO JOIN HER HUSBAND IN CYBERSPACE!

Where do I even begin with this? First of all didn't Homer have a robot body? So instead of wasting his time hanging out with his nerdy grandkids why didn't he contact Marge? You'd think that he would want to talk to her seeing as their marriage is in the shitter and it needs fixing. And it's never explained why Homer is back in cyberspace he just is, what did his Terminator body get destroyed off screen or something? Also great message to send out to widows writers if you can't physically be with your husband then kill yourself and maybe if there is an afterlife you'll join him there. This is why I wanted to review this episode because it takes a lighthearted cartoon like The Simpsons and turns it into a mean spirited mess that isn't fun to watch. This whole episode is a downer because it takes everything I liked about The Simpsons growing up and throws it out the window. The humor in this episode is way too mean spirited for a Simpsons episode, this is something I'd except Family Guy or American Dad to do but not The Simpsons.

There are no words to describe my hate for this scene. 

Anyway Milhouse gets cured and Bart and Jenda call it quits and then we get the biggest cop out ever. It turns out that most of the events of this episode where all in Bart's head! That's right he never left the old warehouse and this whole thing was just one giant simulation to get him over Jenda.......can you say lazy writing? Duh of course you can!

So the episode ends with Homer being turned into a horrible C3-PO knock off, Milhouse still a zombie because apparently there is no cure for the zombie virus and the horrifying cat with the Santa's Little Helper's face stitched on being made the butt of one last joke.

It's funny cause their pet is a freak.

I'm not gonna mince words here I fucking despise this episode with a fiery fucking passion! This episode is too mean spirited and depressing to be enjoyed by even the most diehard Simpsons fans. The plot is boring, the future versions of the characters are unlikable and the "it was just a dream" ending was such a fucking horrible cop out.

And what's shocking is that this episode was written by J.Stewart Burns a writer who has written a lot for Futurama and he's the writer of "Holidays of Future Passed" so he should know better! It's like someone dared him he couldn't write a mean spirited Simpsons episode and he was like "Oh yeah watch me mother fucker".

The episode has NO redeeming value whatsoever and I'm shocked Matt Groening gave them the approval to do this episode because if I was him I would have taken my name off the credits for this episode.

And yes J. Stewart Burns is going to be writing the Simpsons and Futurama crossover episode for next season and after seeing this I'm worried it might tun out to be just as horrible as this.

Final Rating

-10/10



         



  

         

 

     
   

Animated Crap: Regular Show Do Me A Solid

Alright now that we've got the introduction out of the way let's get this bullshit train going!

Welcome to the first of many review sections of the blog where I take a look at some of the worst animated movies, shows and TV episodes that animation has to offer and I figured I'd start with something simple like a bad episode of an animated series that I like.

So sit back relax and enjoy me tear this shitty episode a new asshole.

For those of you that don't know anything about Regular Show let me sum it up for you real quick. Regular Show is an animated series created by J.G Quintel and it follows the surreal adventures of Mordecai and Rigby an anthropomorphic jaybird and raccoon.

The series is basically like Adventure Time or Aqua Teen Hunger Force in that weird shit just happens and the audience is supposed to just go with it. Now shows like these can be hit or miss and Regular Show has had it's fair share of clunkers over the years and this sadly is one of them.

Alright without anymore stalling let's take a look at why "Do Me A Solid" is one of the worst episodes in the show's run.

So the episode starts off with Mordecai and Rigby watching TV when this comes on.

Hey remember that Shake Weight commercial? Wasn't that so gay? Yeah it was totally gay! 

And already we have the first red flag of the episode, the jokes aren't funny! I mean seriously South Park did a much better Shake Weight parody in an episode that aired a year before this episode did. And I know what you're thinking but this is a kid's show so it's much funnier! Well not really because it really isn't a joke because there really is no set up for it the dudes are just watching TV when an ad comes on for the Shake Weight and we are supposed to find this funny because you know it's the Shake Weight and it totally looks like the dude is jerking another dude off!

Anyway after that pointless scene Mordecai and Rigby decide to do solids for each other, this leads to an unfunny short montage of the two doing pointless crap that is isn't funny nor relevant to the actual plot of the episode.

They run into Skips who tells them not to abuse the power of the solids, the two ignore him and go to the coffee place to get a bite to eat. Eileen nervously asks Rigby if he would like to go mini golfing with her and Margret, Mordecai sees this as a chance to go on a date with Margret so he talks Rigby into agreeing to go with Eileen but only if Mordecai does 10 solids for Rigby.

And here is where the episode starts to go down the shit hole, so the writers decide on making Rigby the antagonist for this episode so for the rest of the episode he acts like a complete jackass and publicly humiliates Mordecai. And all the while Mordecai not once stands up to him when they are going out with the girls. I mean I know this is season 2 Mordecai where he wanted to do whatever it took to get with Margret but still no girl is worth getting humiliated in public for.

But wait it get's worse! When the group returns home Rigby says that he has one more solid for Mordecai to do.

Seven Days

Mordecai finally grows a pair and tells Ribgy to fuck off and that he is not going to do that, but Rigby tells him that he has no choice and that he has to do it because it is a solid. Mordecai ignores him and goes back into the living room to try and hang with Margret again.

And then the ground starts to shake, Rigby tells Mordecai to do the solid but Mordecai refuses and the ground starts to get destroyed.

EARTHQUAKE! 

 Skips, Benson and Pops walk in I guess the writers remembered that they had to crow bar them in there somewhere and Skips gives Mordecai and Rigby the "I told you so" speech. And he tells Mordecai that the only way to stop this is to do the solid, Mordecai is still hesitant until Margret says this.

" Not if you're just doing a solid! That's what friends are for! They come through for each other where they need it most!"

Yep......it's okay to humiliate yourself  in public because you're just doing a solid for a friend. I mean correct me if I'm wrong here but if a friend comes up to you and says "Hey dude do me a solid and act like a complete jackass in front of that girl you like" would you do it? Because I'm sorry if a friend asked me to do something like that and the hid behind the solid excuse then I would break my friendship with them because friends don't humiliate each other like that!

And here's the funny thing it turns out that Margret broke a date with a guy just so she could be with Eileen on her date with Rigby so yeah the writers really loved to treat Mordecai like shit when it comes to his love life don't they?

Anyway Mordecai does the solid which involves him crouching down and making fire truck noises yeah you're guess is as good as mine.

The look on Marget's face says it all.

 The next day Rigby, Pops and Muscle Man are watching a video tape of Mordecai doing the solid and laughing at him, yeah isn't Rigby just the best? Anyway Mordecai walks in and tells them he is fed up and that he just wants to go to the arcade. And here is the final fuck you the writers give to the audience Rigby out of nowhere has a change of heart and destroys the video tape.

Rigby does the fastest heel face turn ever. 

 And to make matters worse? Mordecai being the dumb shit that he is decides to forgive him......WHAT THE FUCK! Rigby spent the entire episode acting like a complete jackass towards Mordecai and now all of a sudden right the fuck out of nowhere Mordecai decides to forgive him.

Ugh......just fuck this episode! This is like the One Coarse Meal of Regular Show where Rigby acts like a complete jackass towards Mordecai and gets away scot free in the end because the writers are complete morons. I mean at least in the Unicorn episode the unicorn gang turns on Rigby and he realizes that he has acted like a complete jackass towards Mordecai but here he's just a jerk from start to finish and he never gets what's coming to him and that's what really pisses me the fuck off about this episode.

Also his sudden change of heart towards the end makes no fucking sense! He spent the whole episode acting like a complete jackass towards Mordecai and then all of a sudden he decides to change his mind in the last 20 seconds of the episode.

Final rating
-1/10